“Welcome back, OSLP family. And today we have someone in the community that’s been with us for a while. And he’s actually already been on the show, but I wanted to get more in depth with him about his actual journey. I kind of know the highlights, but I don’t know what’s been going on in the background. So welcome today, Rob Rafanan, to the show from the waiting table. Yeah, of course, of course.”
“Yay, thanks for having me.”
Early Life and Realization
“I’ve always been a larger person. I’ve, I’ve always been heavier. but it really didn’t get as bad or on that downward slope until I started working. So once I finished university, I was actually quite healthy in university. I was quite active. I’ve always been an athlete, a heavier athlete, but an athlete.”
“But once it’s that becoming an adult thing, it’s just like, now I have work. Now I need to prove myself. Now I need to do all these things. and I remember it was during training. remember talking with some of my colleagues or these new colleagues and they were saying that, you know, from what they heard that people gain weight at this company and in this specific role, because it was outside sales and you know, it depends on how much you’re going to stop and prioritizing eating healthy versus. eating whatever is around, AKA McDonald’s or pizza or whatever.”
“I was at my fittest at that time and I was like, that’s not going to happen to me. Fast forward a year and it was me. And yeah, and fast forward a couple more years and a few more years. And it was me to a horrible degree to the point where I actually had to go on long-term disability.”
The Tipping Point
“I had gotten up to high threes and I saw at certain points that, I need to do something. I need to change things. And I had worked with a trainer doing CrossFit at this time. And I started having some back issues and some health issues. And I remember she had asked me, how much do you weigh? We’re filling out the intake forms.”
“I was just like, you know, I think it’s been a while since I last weighed myself, but I think I’m around 280. I let myself go a little bit. So I’m around 280. And she’s like, okay, well, we’re just going to weigh you anyways, just to, you know, to make sure we’re accurate. And I’m like, okay, cool. And so I stepped on the scale and I remember being 350 pounds.”
“There are only a couple of times when in my life I felt immediately just like very acute that the world around me was closing in in one small moment … the other time was at this moment when I stepped on that scale and I asked myself where did 70 pounds come from like where and how did it get to this?”
Health Crisis and Diagnosis
“Then on top of sort of my, my back issues that were starting to bother me a bit more and some of my other like health issues that were coming up, at this point, I found out that I had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, which is essentially an enlargement of part of your heart. … I was not allowed to raise my heart rate over about 130 beats per minute. And when you put that on top of the increasing back pain, the hypertension, all the different things that were happening to me, it was a mixture of, yes, physically it was a challenge, but there was a certain level of apathy as well, I think, where you’re just starting to feel sorry for yourself and hopeless.”
“Things just got worse and worse and worse until I got to the point where I was 400 pounds. Yeah, I did reach 400 pounds. I actually probably went higher, but when you’re at a certain weight, you don’t wanna buy a new scale and you’re just like, yep, I am tapped out here, I’m good, I’m good. I’m not gonna find out more.”
Life Changes and Turning to Surgery
“My chiropractor who was helping me through all of these different episodes, he was just like, I don’t want you to be mad because I guess, you know, it’s hard topic to broach, especially if you’re not like a family physician, you’re the chiropractor. He’s like, have you ever considered bariatric surgery? And I was just like, no, I got this. Like I started CrossFit, I started all these things before, I can do it.”
“The pride in me was just like, no, no, I’m good, I’m good.”
“But at this point, I’ve been battling this for almost 10 years. I’ve bet on myself. That’s a term me and my friends would always use. I’m like, but I’m losing. I’m losing this bet over and over again.”
“And the biggest loss at this point was the first few years of my daughter’s life. Like I wasn’t able to do a lot. I was, you know, I always use the term. I was a present but absentee father because I was always there, but I was watching from a chair. I couldn’t do anything. I was like cheering her on from a chair, but I wasn’t the one pushing the bike. wasn’t the one doing all the things.”
Family Motivation and Community Support
“Out of everything, the hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, the apnea, the hypertension, the pre-diabetic, the cholesterol, everything, out of all those things, it was me having to go on long-term visibility because I couldn’t work and I couldn’t provide for my family that was like… Yeah, you need the surgery. So that was the thing.”
“Luckily, in Canada, surgery is covered, right? So providing that you meet specific criteria, your surgery is covered. So I talked to my GP who was just like, yes, I definitely think that this is a good idea, is generally a two-year program. She enrolled me and the main hospital in this area in Toronto that now there are other hospitals, but this was the main one she was affiliated with. You know, they pretty much picked. They picked and they’re just like, okay, you are enrolled for our program. You have to go here and start these things.”
Mindset Shift
“As I got up to my 400 pounds, then I started looking into, I actually didn’t look into bariatric surgery until my chiropractor asked me to look into it. So it was actually because I, again, four herniated discs, I was constantly in pain. I was under 15 different medications at this point for a mixture of blood pressure, my heart issue, cholesterol, pain. I had lots of pain meds. It got to the point where we did shots, we did everything, we did narcotics, and the pain doctor was just like, I’m not going to give you anything else because we’ve tried everything and nothing’s working.”
“During that whole episode, I was like, can I do it? Right? Like I’ve been battling this for almost 10 years at this point. I’ve bet on myself. … I’m losing. I’m losing this bet over and over again.”
“The biggest loss at this point was the first few years of my daughter’s life.”
The Surgery Experience
“I had lost about, I think I was like 70 to 80 pounds. And so when it got to the point where surgery, was time for surgery because it’s supposed to be a two-year program, but I called every day. I’m like, is there cancellation? Is there cancellation? Is there cancellation? They’re like, OK, finally, we got something.”
“When my mom died … I started asking myself, you know, there is so many. Like my parents, when they were my age at this time, mid-thirties, late thirties, they didn’t have the comorbidities that I currently do with health. They didn’t have all the challenges that I do, but yet they still died early sixties.”
“If there is a correlation between those things, which there is, then I have 20 something years left with my kids.”
Sleeve or RNY Decision
“RNY is really geared to alleviating and treating a lot of those health issues. And I just had so many that, you know, for me, yes, the weight loss was important, but really it was the health because I thought I was like on the brink of death. And now when I look at those pictures, I’m just in videos of me and my body just struggling so much to carry this body.”
“Surgery-wise, no complications. I have horrible recovery from everything like this, my skin removal. I’m just a wimp, I suck. And so, yeah, so I had the surgery. I couldn’t drink water. I couldn’t sip the little things.”
Recovery, Regret and Physical Activity
“I was bike, cycling 18.64 miles a day. Yeah, on what, calories a day, 900 calories a day. And we were biking on the weekends, hold on, 62 miles.”
“It was a lot, right? Yeah. So, you know, when you’re like, oh, you know, you can lose muscle. I did. And it was my choice to do those things. But really, in terms of motivating myself and the way that I am, I’m always go, go, go.”
Mental Health Transformation
“I went into this with the idea that I’m going to do everything to take care of my mental state and my approach and being grateful for everything I have because of where I was coming from. So I would start every single day doing meditation, practicing mindfulness, being grateful for what I have, verbalizing. Doing a lot of, you know, I had worked with a mindset coach at that time. And I think that was very, very helpful for me really getting to the spot where I needed to be.”
“I realized I was harboring a lot of guilt. I don’t know exactly for what or at that time I didn’t know exactly for what but I remembered when I was talking with the therapist I was just talking and then I was listening to what I was saying and I was like, holy shit, I said guilt a lot.”
Embracing Change and Developing New Habits
“One main thing is not learning balance, right? So I was always, and still am to an extent, but I am way better at managing that. I am very much an all or nothing type of person, right? It’s just like go full out and once something happens, which is life, which, life doesn’t give a shit, once it happens, it’s just like everything falls off.”
“A lot of people … I can be in control of the thing that’s controlled me for my whole life. And I feel like this is a big part of it, right? Like being able to say, I am an emotional eater, but I can utilize that to soothe myself. And then be able to move forward with that.”
“Food can be a positive, well, is a positive thing. We need it to survive. It could also be a negative thing when you do too much, you use it too much or use it in an unhealthy way.”
Community Impact and Coaching
“I am more than double what my initial client cap was, but I’m learning to manage it and I think it’s perfect. you know, even it’s funny because with every single person, there is a certain level of. There is a slight, slight moment where I’m just like, can I get them the things I promised or that I’m saying, right? And then real quickly, it’s like, fuck yeah, you can. Like, you know you can, stop doubting yourself.”
“I didn’t think of it from that standpoint, right? I was just like, okay, well, I’ve gone to this journey. I’m where I am. … But after hearing that from so many people while there, was just like, holy shit, that it’s true. And it’s hard for me to say that because like, I’m not really good at taking compliments either, but it is true.”
Unexpected Changes and Non-Scale Victories
“I found so it always comes back to bathroom. Bathroom. Yeah, like I wasn’t told that your bathroom habits would change the way that it does or did. And yes, as much as they say that, yeah, you know, you need to have more fiber or you need to have this in your diet. They don’t explain why. Right. And that’s the big thing. And that’s why I am so gung-ho about giving people the education and the information.”
“For me as a very analytical person, it was sort of also trying to understand why things happen the way that they do, why these limitations are there.”
“Before we let you go, what kind of NSBs have you experienced? Because I love celebrating those. My gosh. There’s just so many. as much as, you know, we do happy hour and we talk about all the little NSFEs and I love those because those are the little things that remind you every single day that every day is a win.”
Final Thoughts and Words to the Community
“Yes, you keep doing all the amazing things that you’re doing. I know that times are tough all the time. Life doesn’t give a shit, but you continuously show up for everyone in our community, including us, for coming to Toronto and doing everything with us. And your commitment to not only yourself with RBT next year, but bringing the Bariatric Bodybuilding Show to our community is a testament to how much you give a shit about people here and we definitely would not be nearly where we are if it wasn’t for you and and I speak that personally as well so you know thank you so much we can talk about all the stuff that I have going on which is great but realistically none of that would have happened if it wasn’t for the stuff that you’ve done so thank you”
“Drink your water, drink your protein, and don’t be assholes to each other.”
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