In this episode of Our Sleeved Life Podcast, Murph—known online as @Murphs_Losin_It and co-host of The Waiting Table—opens up about his bariatric journey, the grief that nearly broke him, and the community that helped him find his footing again. It’s a candid and emotional story of transformation, resilience, and redefining masculinity in a space where men are often underrepresented.
“I thought I was the only one.” – Murph
When Murph entered the bariatric community, he felt out of place.
“There weren’t a lot of guys. It was like Rob… and then Rob. I could not believe that my journey looked and sounded just like somebody else’s journey.”
Over time, he found connection through Instagram and TikTok, especially with Rob from Your Weight is History. He joined a Men’s Monday support group.
“I was like two weeks post-op and I hadn’t pooped in like two weeks. I was like, guys, I’m struggling. What is this?”
Those early support chats were life-saving. Despite experiencing deep regret and physical difficulty in the early post-op days, Murph found comfort in others who had walked the path before him.
“I was very much regretting my decision at that time. But eventually… another day or so and smooth sailing.”
Sharing for the One
Murph’s motivation for being vocal about his journey wasn’t attention—it was connection.
“Maybe if I share my story, it’ll inspire somebody else.”
“If we can inspire one person with one video or one before-and-after picture… cool. That’s helpful. It’s worth it.”
He co-founded The Waiting Table Podcast for that one person. The one who might be scrolling at midnight, wondering if they’re alone.
Dreams Deferred
Murph grew up in Michigan and was always active: football, hockey, golf. But despite staying physically engaged, his weight was always a struggle.
“I just always had to work extra hard, like way harder than any of my other buddies.”
After high school, he was accepted into the Detroit Fire Academy—his dream. Then, tragedy struck.
“September 13th, two days after 9/11… I got hit by a car on my 10-speed bike. Tore all the muscles and tendons in my right arm, bent my collarbone. I was just a couple weeks away from taking my physical test.”
It destroyed his plan. Murph was forced to give up firefighting. He pivoted, taking up everything from Zamboni driving to working in churches and schools.
“What do I do now?” – Murph
He became a youth pastor, a worship drummer, and a missionary. For a while, it was meaningful work, but it didn’t stop the spiral that was beginning inside.
“Even though I was a youth pastor, I was dabbling—with drinking, with depression behind the scenes.”
Eventually, Murph divorced and moved back into his parents’ basement at age 31. He started dating again, naively joining Tinder. That’s where he met Elise.
“We talked briefly on the app, exchanged numbers, met a week later, and six weeks after that—we got married.”
“She was my best friend.” – Murph
In 2015, shortly after marrying Elise, Murph’s world was shaken again.
“I get a phone call that my aunt, who was 46 years old, had a massive heart attack and was gone.”
His aunt had played a motherly role—his guide and protector through childhood. Her death changed him.
“That was my tipping point. I was like, fuck it. If she can’t make it in this world, I don’t stand a chance.”
Instead of inspiring health changes, the grief fueled self-destruction.
“I could’ve gone two different ways. I went the easier path. Implode. Eat my emotions. Suicide by cheeseburger.”
“I was trying to take myself out.” – Murph
Murph spiraled. His weight soared. Rage filled his home.
“I became very aggressive… a rageaholic. I would flip tables and throw stuff. My kids had to see that. My wife had to see that. I hate it.”
Eventually, he admitted to himself what was happening.
“I had to self-implode. I had to try to take myself out. And that’s what I was doing.”
“It felt like an elephant on my chest.”
By late 2019, he weighed nearly 500 pounds, couldn’t walk more than 10 minutes, and slept in a recliner for three years due to herniated discs.
“I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t stand. And then I got really sick.”
Murph believes he was one of the first undiagnosed COVID-19 cases.
“I’ve never been more sick in my entire life. November 2019. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest for a month straight.”
That illness triggered massive weight loss—enough to qualify for bariatric surgery.
“I lost 20–25 pounds before I even saw the doctor. I weighed in at 464 pounds. My back, my heart, my sleep apnea—they all qualified me.”
Preparing for the Sleeve
Murph didn’t wait for surgery to change his life. He started vlogging daily on YouTube under Murph Losing It, walking laps in the yard, drinking more water, eating less, and mentally preparing for change.
“I lost 120 pounds before surgery. I hit 344 the day of.”
He doesn’t remember the moment he chose surgery—those days are a blur.
“I wish I could tell my story better. I didn’t take pictures. I avoided videos. I wasn’t on Instagram. I wasn’t sleeping. I was dying in my sleep.”
“It’s been the hardest four years—but the best.” – Murph
Murph’s surgery was a turning point. Since then, he’s lost over 230 pounds total and transformed inside and out.
“I’ve been this weight before, but I look and feel completely different. My body structure has changed. People say I look younger now than I did 10 years ago.”
He now trains for a bodybuilding competition, spends quality time with his seven kids, and watches cop shows with his daughter.
“I used to want to be a rockstar. Now I just want to be with my family.”
“This journey catches me off guard.” – Murph
Though proud of how far he’s come, Murph remains grounded.
“Some days it just catches me off guard. I’m like, how did I get here? I feel like I’m going to wake up and be 500 pounds again.”
But even with lingering mental health struggles, he wouldn’t change a thing.
“I’ll struggle with the mental stuff. Maybe I’ll fix it. Maybe I won’t. But either way, I’m alive. And I’m happy.”
💬 Quote Highlights from Murph’s Journey
“This has brought me the most joy—but it’s also been the hardest four years of my life.”
“I always wanted six kids. I have seven. I wanted a nice house. I got one. I wanted a wife I could grow old with—we’re going on 11 years strong.”
“We knew. I knew. You should’ve just trusted me.”
“If I can inspire just one person—it’s worth it.”
🎧 Want to Hear More?
Follow Murph’s journey:
👉 🎙️ The Waiting Table Podcast – wherever you stream
📹 YouTube: Murphs_Losin_It
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